obliviously obvious

sometimes (read: all the time) i want to live in a fantasy world of music videos or fashion shoots. a place where high heels don’t hurt, dramatic eyeliner doesn’t make you look crazy and v-neck sweaters are worn not for sexual appeal.

but i live in the real world and things don’t work how i want them to. maybe one day i can have them look how i want them to seem, but until then i’ll just have to wish and live vicariously through other means.

one day …

i think i’ll use writing posts for this site as procrastination for real work.

on the whole, school is going well. but it always goes well in the beginning. the only thing i could see getting in my way is if i failed my political economics class. that would probably lead to a downward spiral of bad. however, at this moment, i’m not in danger of failing, i’m simply not doing well.

other than school, my life is pretty alright. cable tv in my room is a blessing and a curse. i don’t have a large freezer so i end up throwing out a lot of food, but it’s mostly vegetables so they go in the compost and not the dump.

back to the subject of school, i’m actually doing surprisingly well. in my core journalism classes i consistently get almost or the highest marks. i feel like it’s a natural talent since i know that if i put my all into it (which just isn’t going to happen in first year otherwise i’ll burn myself out) i could do amazing things. it all comes down to whether the juice is worth the squeeze. and since my professor never hands out perfects and has only given out 9 90s in his teaching career, i’d be better off putting my efforts into getting blood from a stone.

i still try hard, i just don’t think i’ve hit my stride yet. the basics are too basic. it’s my fundamental flaw of wanting to be good at stuff right away because i usually am. oh well.

i suppose i should be writing more, considering i’ll be going to college in september for journalism. yay! go me! i’ll try to write every day, but i know it’s not going to happen. also, i have a very good feeling that most of it will be incubus related as they just released a new album. yay! go incubus! i plan on going for another meet and greet at the end of august. it’s been four years since i last saw them live; shame on me. i was really poor when they came in 2009 though and i don’t know if i can go back to being just a regular concert goer now that i’ve been so luckily spoiled.

hopefully this is the beginning of the next portion of my life. the part where i discover what i really want from life and what i need to contribute. although right now it just feels like i need to sing (the vocals on this album are intense and awesome).

i’ll be back tomorrow?

since i wrote this for a website, i thought i’d post it here. it’s not great, but it’s supposed to be pretty short. i tried to only have a little of my voice in there and keep it to a journalistic style, so if it sucks big time, that’s why. also, i don’t know if it’s actually going to be published or not, but i don’t care. yay! it did get published! i just wanted to do it.

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole

i’m almost entirely moved in. i have a large list of things i need to do, but i’m glad for it. i had become self-destructive once again. i was/am in a rut. but i’ve seen it and i think i can get myself out. it’s been far too long since i’ve done something actually productive for myself. i think i’ve finally decided on what to go back to school for, but right now i’m just going to save up, pay debts and see how things go.

i’ve been pretty good with exercising and diet and i think it’s starting to show. at the very least, i’ve lost three pounds, so it’s a start. i just have to keep at it. my goal is to see how things are going at the end of may. i’m trying to not be discouraged by lack of results until then.

i can’t believe it’s may already. where does the time go? oh well. twenty-four soon. blech. i’m still young, so says every one older than me. yet i’m supposed to have every thing figured out in the next six years. meh. time to sleep.