obliviously obvious

you know that feeling you get after you’ve been beaten up? or when someone breaks up with you? or just when you’re really, really sick? it’s like a complete numbness. you don’t know what to do with yourself or even what to think. you just let everything pass you by, and you hope for the best. you don’t care about anything, and all of your problems seem trivial in comparison to what happened. that’s the feeling i have right now. i’m just numb. i thought friday the thirteenth was supposed to be my lucky day. apparently not. why does everything have to be happening now? couldn’t life (that stupid bitch) just space things out, even a tiny bit? i’m thankful that my situation isn’t any worse. justice is bullshit. society is a fucking lie. why aren’t time machines real? there are so many things i’d go back and fix. maybe i’d start with my birth. damn time paradoxes, fucking me over so easily. all i want is this to be over. again, it’s a transitional period. i don’t care about the punishment etc. i just want to get to that point. at least that way i can’t get screwed up the ass anymore. fuck.

i can’t wait to see what happens next. i can only imagine what wonderful moments of delight life has planned for us all. me in particular. what a stupid bitch. i’m so mad. i’ve gone from numb to angry. that’s a good thing, really it is. i should become a lawyer just so i can bring the system down from the inside. that would be too sweet. or maybe that’s why it’s so bad in the first place. fucking people in this world. all they ever think about is themselves. honsetly, what does this mean to any of the people who are involved? nothing. they don’t get a pay raise, or any sort of emotional satisfaction. they’re just assholes. plain and simple. go do some actual work that needs to be done. FUCK. i hate this.