i had a whole post, a rather good one, already written and now it’s gone because the internet is gay. the gist of it: jeff said i looked good when i thought i looked like crap, and it totally blew my mind. i don’t know why he thought that, and now i don’t know how to look on a regular basis. really, i know this shouldn’t be confusing me, but it is doing. i don’t know, it’s just whoa. it’s good that he thought that, but it’s still weird to me. honestly, the thought in my mind is: he doesn’t think i look good when i have make-up on. that’s the basic idea in my head now. i am so confused. when i thought i looked good, did he think i looked bad? it’s just weird to me. also, i said some things that i needed to say. i need a lot of support right now to get me through these difficult times. this means a lot of effort to show caring. i’m very needy, and it’s very annoying i know. well that’s it. now for some sleep.

the post that got erased was way better. i shake my fist at you internet. and just in case select all and copy.