Feb 25
passive
i had this terrible dream last night. i hate it when i have really realistic dreams. the feelings are just too much. that’s what i mean when i say realistic; the emotions are deep and i wake up hurt. there was one part in it that was pretty funny though. but the rest, ugh. awful. it made me want to be with that person just to verify they weren’t actually like that. of course, at the same time i didn’t.
i have to do a lot of things, but i haven’t quite stopped running from responsibility. i know running only makes it worse, but that knowledge doesn’t stop me from doing it. just one day at a time. i have to do things on those days to makes them count, and that’s the hard part. god damn me. i can’t believe it’s 4 already. how do i waste my time? really? what am i waiting for? i really have to stop thinking about what i should be doing and actually do it. i know i’ve already written this wonderful revelation, but i just can’t seem to learn from it. and the downward spiral continues. excuse me while i go mentally beat myself.
3 comments3 Comments so far
Yeah… I have to admit that a good amount of self-mental abuse has kept my brain in check for a good long time…
it was at 9:45am.
i woke up at 10:45am.
yeah.
-Tal
oh man. can you go another time?