obliviously obvious

- a butterfly under the glass -

Mar 23

i’m so lame

Category: Uncategorized

blahdy blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah. if you read that out loud like an actual sentence, it’s kind of funny.

i really need help. there are so many things that i’ve built my life on that i shouldn’t do. these things only destroy my life little by little every day. and each day is a battle to make it a good one. i can feel myself being drawn into having a bad day, and it takes so much mental effort to keep myself thinking about good things, good times, the people i have etc. even with all those thoughts, i still get dragged into this black hole of despair. there are no better words to describe it. believe me, i don’t want to be there. telling myself that i only feel this way because of this or that doesn’t help either. there’s nothing i can do. i’m powerless and i can’t stand it. and you can’t understand. even if you think you do, you don’t. i just can’t stop thinking negative thoughts. everything has a negative spin. its more than just that. it’s frustrating.

7 comments

7 Comments so far

  1.  March 23rd, 2005 7:06 am

    I sorta went through a phase of that… To me, it seems like your on the straw before the one that will break you… and you are narrowly avoiding being broken. I say fight till the end, because like i said, i was in a phase similar once.. and it seemed to have won.

  2.  March 23rd, 2005 3:55 pm

    well, maybe if u keep busy. I find when i get depressed or upset about something (even if it’s nothing in particular) i surround myself with work or people. Give me a call or text me or something when you get bored or sad, whit! we can go shopping or do drugs r something.

    (yes, drugs are always the answer)

  3.  March 23rd, 2005 5:21 pm

    maybe you guys missed the part where i said you can’t understand. keepinf busy won’t do anything. but thanks for the offer.

  4.  March 24th, 2005 2:16 am

    whats that, Whitney? you WANT to smoke a big session with Sean and I?
    …well….OKAY

  5.  March 24th, 2005 4:14 am

    ugh.. if you INSIST whitney… always with the drugs eh? you just push and push and push… well FINE… just this once I’ll let you pressure me… I’ll smoke a huge seeion with you and paula.

  6.  March 24th, 2005 10:18 pm

    i don’t think i should do drugs now that i’m on . . . medication! hooray. it’s the first step to recovery.

  7.  March 25th, 2005 1:15 am

    well.. drugs are bad.. dont do drugs.. just smoke pot.. heh.