with nowhere to go. it’s my fault actually. i love it when i lose something in a really accessible place, but then i say “well, it’s gone forever,” when all i have to do is reach to get it. i find it mildly humourous. that’s about it. i’m done. maybe i’ll try to sleep right now. meh.

interesting article that may help those who have to deal with me

i thought it had some interesting tips. take it or leave it.

(p.s. you should probably take it)

have you ever built something up in your head, and then when it doesn’t turn out the way you expected it to, you get really depressed? maybe that’s just because i am depressed. i’m confused with what i should expect though. this is one of those situations where i don’t know if it’s because of my mind, or i should actually feel this way. i know i probably shouldn’t feel this shitty. i just wonder sometimes. will it actually be any different later on? is feeling special too much to ask? i really am too depressed to tell right now. i hope to god this is chemical or hormonal, because i don’t know if i could live like this every day. fuck you for saying i’m negative. there’s no silver lining on this shitty cloud.

random: if you ever want to get me a gift, get me girlie tops that are over $20 or any MAC cosmetics. preferably eyeshadows (black, purple, dark classy/funky colours) or lipstuff is great too. you know what, anything from there is great. just go there and tell the people that work there what you’re doing and i’m sure they’ll be able to help you. ask them for funky make-up that can be worn every day or out at night if applied liberally etc. same goes for the clothing stores. although i’m looking for a halter/tube top that goes past my hips. kind of longer and flowing. i’ll even provide you with some sites to peruse.

MAC
GUESS?
Le Chateau
Dynamite
Esprit
Mexx (go to the ezine section first)
American Eagle Outfitters (feel free to meander through the other sections)
Smart Set (look in showroom)

i can’t think of any others, but the tops at le chateau fitting my description are what i’m looking for. thanks for your time and hopefully money.

girls night was a lot of fun. a lot of fun. i actually didn’t get that drunk considering i had 2 shots of vodka, a shot of tequila, and 4 mixed drinks with added alcohol so i could taste it. the only thing i regret is not taking more pictures. and by more i mean more than two. oh well, we were having too much fun drinking to take pictures. i really wish i had pictures. next time, definitely. i think i’ll do the next one. and it’ll be soon. i really want to do this again.