obliviously obvious

i’m writing because i’m bored and i feel like talking. the things i want to talk about, i can’t, because they just seem stupid when actually discussed. i’m an oddy that way. sometimes i think i just make it seem that way in my head, and the question isn’t actually that outrageous or dumb.

instant messaging is terrible. i say that because you can never truly understand what someone is trying to say. tone of voice can be very important. it can be the key difference in a conversation. i could keep talking about this, but i really don’t want to. i want to talk about the things i’m not supposed to. i don’t know why i don’t just do it. it’s not like i’m doing anything wrong. i think the problem is that i’ve already asked the question (one of them at least) but i didn’t like the answer that i got. i know it’s ridiculous to think that by asking again i’ll get an answer that i want, but it’s one of those things where it’s impossible to not have an opinion about it. that was the answer before: opinionless.

i have another virus. i’ve looked everywhere on the internet for it, and the two things that my two different antivirus software said aren’t it either. i’m pretty sure it’s a worm, but i can’t find it in the registry. i’ve looked and i can’t find anything. everything seems to be fine except that my antivirus software finds files that are infected with a virus, but the files reproduce kind of. that sounds worse than it is. it’s the same .tmp file, it just keeps changing it’s name, and then eventually it stops. so after it’s been quarantined 1000+ times nothing else happens. my antivirus doesn’t find anything else and it never finds anything with a full manual scan, so i don’t know what’s wrong. i’m sure i’m doing irreparable damage to my computer just by having it on, but fuck me if i know what to do. damn, i should’ve said if i don’t know what to do. oh well. nothing has changed except for that annoying pop-up that happens telling me about that one file changing it’s name and being quarantined. i deleted all of them, so maybe next time i reboot it’ll be gone. i know it doesn’t work that way, but let me delude myself for a second. i actually had dreams relating to this virus. i can’t believe i got another one and i didn’t even do anything. i wasn’t downloading, i didn’t open anything, everything was exactly the same as it normally is. and i’ve rebooted/shut down at least three times since i had the last virus, so i don’t think it could be from that. not to mention that it’s not similar at all. i know it could’ve been dropped by the other one, but it would’ve been dropped in the same registry keys, but there’s nothing there. argh. this is balls.

i can’t believe i just wrote that much about my computer. i guess i’m kind of hoping someone will read it and be able to help me, but i doubt it. i’m usually pretty good at fixing my computer with things like this, but apparently it’s not infected, just that one reproducing file is. okay, i’m really going to shut up now.

now my stomach hurts and i’m tired. i’m so sick of this computer shit. but i don’t have any money to get it professionally checked. tomorrow’s going to be a music filled day for me. i’m not stopping until i have at least one song completely memorized and can finish one theory test with an 80% or higher. wow, that’s a lot of work, but i really need to do this otherwise . . . well, i don’t really know what i’ll do. i guess working and making money for a year would be alright. i just don’t know if i’d want to go to school after that. i think i would. anyway, no need to think about that option yet. i’ll wait until i clearly screw up before i start thinking about second options.

i wrote a lot of crap, and most of it really is just crap. last thought: paul oakenfold – ready steady go is an awesome song. i forgot that i had it. surprises can be great.