obliviously obvious

justin’s party was fun, but not an excellent time. random thing i just noticed: strings on headphones are the greatest thing ever. i talk some pretty screwed up things when i’m intoxicated. like if i were a lesbian, i’d prefer smaller boobs. but as a heterosexual, i like bigger boobs more. isn’t that weird? i think it’s weird. another random fact: i hate crying. i really do. so, if you ever see me cry, you know i must really be upset about something. or there’s just no other way for me to express my unhappy feelings at the time. i also cry when i’m really mad. that’s enough about crying. i always feel so dumb after i cry. i feel like i didn’t need to do it at all and it was all pointless.

talena, i know you read this, at least i hope you do. i just want you to know that you get me through the tough days, which is almost every day it seems. i have other people too (namely jeff), but you’ve always been there even if you couldn’t be. i love you.

4:27pm: i have been having really weird and detailed dreams lately. but the great thing is that i can remember them so well. i have to admit, sometimes it’s not a good thing because i can get really mad in my dreams. i just got so mad in fact, that i woke myself up. have you ever been mad in a dream but no matter how hard you tried to hurt or yell at the person you were mad at, nothing got through. punching someone doesn’t hurt them. it gets really frustrating. i have that kind of dream far too frequently for my liking. that’s a complete lack of control dream. obviously, my subconscious believes i don’t have any control over my life, and no matter how hard i try or what level i resort to, i just can’t get control. that’s another thing too though. i have this problem where if people don’t agree with me on something that i think is blatantly obvious, it drives me insane. utterly nuts. i think i’ve talked about this before, but it leads back to my dreams and it’s that whole lack of control thing on some weird level. forgive any lack of sense in this section, i just randomly typed my ideas as they came.

konrad’s party should be pretty awesome next friday. i have so many issues i need to work out. yeah, that was another thing . . . two paragraphs just got randomly erased (i HATE it when this shit happens) the gist of it was thinking about something else while still talking about another topic and people only messaging me while i’m out. they don’t talk to me while i’m there, and then randomly talk to me when i’m busy or not there. frustrating. i really don’t want to write about this again, so cheers.

p.s. HIM – Razorblade Kiss is an awesome song.

i wish i had money so i good buy this really nice bra in the colour purple pleasure. or this one in white or purple. *cough*hint*cough*