Jun 20
it’s all over but the crying
i feel like crap right now, physically and emotionally. i know i shouldn’t but i just do. and there’s nothing to blame or a cause. there is kind of, but i can always work on that one. i feel fat and unattractive. there you go. that’s what i’m not saying, but just said anyway. and the other thing is one of those things where i know it’s not going to happen, and i know it’s not my fault, but i still feel like crap from it. i’m just sympathetic, unless it’s supposed to be the empathy one. whatever. as much as i know it’s nothing, i can’t shake it. i feel like shit and that’s it. something just happened that made it that much worse, and i know it shouldn’t, but it’s just little things like that at the wrong moments that really fuck with my head, a lot. i have to stop doing this. i promised myself i would. i don’t know what else to write about this. i feel really fat right now. normally i do something about it but i’m just too tired to right now. plus it’s two in the morning. there isn’t a lot to do. it’s funny how the one thing i want right now, i’m not going to get, for the same reason that i feel the way i do. only halfly though.
i changed my mind. i don’t care now. i’m stupid. very stupid and i need to learn, fast. however, i do feel fat, but not sassy.
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i seems like the deeper one falls in love, the deeper one’s insecurities become.
at least…thats the way it is with me.
Let me just argue for a moment, that whitney is not NEAR fat, and that she is just a girly girl like all the rest, and always thinks shes fat. Its her girly side showing through, so although its annoying in its obvious fault, its kinda cute to see her girly side.
i’m immediately thrown back into last night.
i need to see this so-called “talent”. i don’t believe it for a second.