obliviously obvious

i feel so dumb and girlie right now. i have a celebrity crush. it’s not like “i think ____ is hot,” it’s past that now. i’ve always liked him, but recent things that happened to me made me like him more. it’s so dumb. he’s not even that attractive, it’s just what he represents . . . kind of. it’s also just the person that he is. he’s cute, geeky and somewhat childish. i’m just a freak. and i haven’t slept in quite some time. that probably has a lot to do with it. things seem more important and relevant to me with little sleep. that occurs for the good and bad. ha ha ha, i’m such a sucker. i hate it, but i love it. it’s what makes me, me.

in around two hours, i’ll be off to dye my hair yet again. something new that i haven’t really done. i had blonde streaks after my pink, but that’s when my hair was 1. red and 2. short. needless to say, this should be quite the different look. it’ll be interesting to see what everyone says about it at jeff’s party/birthday celebration. i don’t think i’ll keep it for very long. it’s too . . . girlie or normal or something that isn’t me. i think the black makes me look more exotic . . . i guess. maybe i just prefer black. i remember i preferred moni’s hair after she dyed it black. i liked paula’s hair darker too. but black is so normal. i’d like it more if it was a really deep blue, but the blue tint washes out so fast. if this whole blonde thing doesn’t work out, i’ll go to a distinctive brown. lighter than black, but too odd to be a normal brown. an obvious chocolate or auburn brown. i talk too much about hair. what do you expect? i’m a chick, believe it or not. i’d like to do the purple thing at some point. i just realized how i’d like it done too. awesome.