it’s funny how some women say they want the natural look, yet they continue to put gobs of lip gloss on. yes, because lips that are so shiny that they actually gleam are so natural. i’m not talking about chapstick, because that isn’t shiny at all, and it actually moisturizes your lips. i mean the ridiculously wet stuff that is gross and accumulates in the corners and edges of their mouths, producing a rather disgusting, almost frothy mess. i’ll admit, i’ve used it once or twice in the past, usually before going somewhere i have to ‘compete’ in looks aka club, bar, party etc. however, it was only at the start of the night and i hated re-applying it, so i didn’t. yet again, this shows that i wasn’t using it for the natural look either. in fact, it was for the exact opposite; i wanted to look like i was wearing make-up. i haven’t even bought a tube of it for myself, that’s how little i’ve used it. i haven’t had the displeasure of kissing anyone with this awfulness, but i’m sure you guys have, and i bet it’s appalling.

anyone who says they want to look natural and then puts that crap on their lips is stupid and knows nothing about looking attractive.

there are multiple reasons for me to be frustrated today. the main reason that’s bugging me right now is i forgot to take my pill. when i forget to take my pill during the day, i get reminded of this fact by slight spinning and a feeling of light-headedness, which eventually turns into spinning so badly that i can’t open my eyes or even lay down straight. luckily, i’ve only let that happen once. the frustrating part is that my pill has a stimulant in it, so if i take it at night, it wakes me up. i’m up for hours longer than i’d like to be. i just took it, so i’ll be up for hours more.

that’s it for today.

5:55 am – see? i’m only going to bed now and i’m not even uber tired. damn.

read above. again and again and again, and again and again.

in other news, i’ve done the impossible and caught an allergy. jeff has this weird thing where he gets super itchy all over his torso if he doesn’t take his allergy mediation. i too now, get very itchy all over my torso for no known reason. it’s really annoying, but leads me to believe that it’s not an allergy, but some sort of thing in his house that affects only really awesome people. hence, why no one else has got it.

anyway, i’m bored with this now. just thought i’d share my minor annoyances. toodle-loo.

my computer isn’t broken and i haven’t been disconnected from my internet. i haven’t updated in a while because i just haven’t felt like it. all the stuff that’s been happening to me isn’t stuff that i like to write about. they’re private good thoughts that should only be shared with the best people, or no one at all. either that or they’re petty and meaningless rants about people’s questionable attractiveness.

i’ve been having a hard time deciding if i’ve gotten/am getting fat. i know i should probably work out more and i’m not extremely happy with my body, but god damn it, i’m in better shape than a lot of people out there. i’m amazed and appalled at what people let themselves look like. to make things worse, they dress to show off all their horribleness. it’s great that they’re happy with themselves, but keep it in your own house. no one wants to see that. the point being that i look way better than that (so i’ve been told), yet i would never have the nerve to dress anywhere near as badly. of course, there’s something to say about taste as well. i have it. these people clearly don’t.

and that’s my rant for this week. i might write more later, but probably not. now, for delicious sleep.

i’ve got another modeling job coming up. i don’t know when exactly, but it should be within the month. i’ve also been thinking about getting representation. meh, whatever . . . i haven’t really been in a writing mood lately. i haven’t written here or in my journal. just when i was starting to get back into it. i’m sure i will again.

i hate that most, if not all, of my creative endeavors stem from misery. i hate it not only because it produces very similar works, but also because i find it near impossible to be creative when i’m happy. i’ve written things that were based on happy feelings, but i still don’t think i was happy when i was actually writing it. if nothing else, i’ve got the looks going for me.

i’ve been told by so many random people that i look like a singer. when i opened my bank account, the bank guy said it. all three of the doctors that i’ve seen said it, and none of them were for voice/singing related ailments. the other bartenders that i work with, various customers that i serve; the list goes on.

i have been having the strangest dreams. not only are they strange, but i feel so involved that my grounding time is way longer than it usually is. when i wake up, i can’t even get myself to focus properly or know if i’m actually awake. it’s kind of scary. and i always have dreams where my teeth are falling out, or have fallen out already. it’s just such a permanent loss that it scares the crap out of me. i know it’s not going to happen, but fake teeth bother me. it’s such a waste. it doesn’t hurt in my dreams, though. my teeth will be rotting and look basically like black cesspools of bacteria, but i can’t feel a thing. well, i can feel something, it’s just not nearly as bad as the pain you’d expect from that kind of tooth decay. the ancient egyptians believed that dreaming about losing your teeth meant someone close to you was going to die. if that was true, i’d be a lot sadder than i am. i don’t know if anyone i know would be alive.

chocolate milk is great. random quote that gives/gave me great glee: ‘hear that everyone? my girlfriend’s a model. .’ (i can’t remember exactly because i was tipsy-drunk, and we were walking fast and i was wearing uncomfortable shoes).

i guess that’s enough rambling for now.

5:50pm – for a brief second i was on the verge of being bored. then i remembered that i had episodes of gilmore girls to watch. hooray!

good idea, bad idea. starring our good friend, mr skullhead (aka: me).

good idea: playing video games before going to bed.
bad idea: playing video games instead of going to bed.

okay, i know that wasn’t nearly as funny as any of the actual segments, but i wasn’t about to do my own dental work for the sake of comedy. (note: please be advised that none of the above will be entertaining in any way unless you’ve watched animaniacs.)

the point was that i stayed up all night playing video games. not only that, but fixing some stuff on my computer, modding things and just general tech stuff. i also haven’t eaten, which leads me to quite a predicament; should i eat or sleep? if i had asked this question only thirty minutes earlier, i might have swiftly fallen into a deep slumber. however, as it is not thirty minutes ago at this time, i feel more akin to throwing up than sleeping. seeing as so many people have died from throwing up while being asleep, i decree it’s time to eat something.

and away i go.