Sep 1
hyperventilation
it’s happening. it’s all starting and i’m trying not to let myself go to the ’sad, worry, cry, miss’ feelings, but then i start getting anxious. i try to stop myself from thinking about it and i can’t breathe because it’s all trying to get out, but it can’t. i realize i’m not being very poetic about all this, but it’s just the way things are.
i haven’t been actually thinking about it or visualizing it. i want to go too, but i don’t know how well that would work out.
i’m trying not to cry . . . i want to, but i guess i’ll have to save it for later.
i don’t want to face it. i think i’ll just throw all my energy into school and not think about anything else. that seems like a balanced and sensible plan, doesn’t it? why is everything i do so messed up?
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