Feb 23
class agenda
i’m so hungry and people around me are eating. it smells really good.
the job search is still on. i’ll call places today and head out tomorrow or sunday.
i have so much homework due for one class, but it’s the monotonous, redundant stuff that will drive me nuts. i’m not looking forward to it. it’s all on office and i’m sick of powerpoint. it’s the worst thing to ever be invented. what’s wrong with chart paper, handouts and projector sheets? i need to get drunk or high. not both. that didn’t work out too well last time. i guess it was mostly just the amount i drank, but the high really helped me not realize what i was doing.
i’m excited for the upcoming week, but i shouldn’t be since nothing is the same.
in my entire life, i’ve never wanted to go back in time so badly. to relive all the good stuff and truly enjoy it. i can never appreciate the now when it’s happening. that’s not entirely true. i’ve had many happy moments. i suppose i just want to be in them again.
the fantasy i was living in came crashing down yet again. i’ve been slowly drifting away from it anyway. i’ve been living in reality and realizing what i had and it kills me everyday. i don’t know how to stop. there are some people that just don’t leave that place in your heart. i feel like such a hypocrite writing that because i certainly didn’t act like it. i should stop.
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