i’ve convinced myself that i have leukemia. that seems like such a stupid thing to say, only because it’s so specific without solid evidence. i should probably see a doctor anyway. i haven’t had a blood test in, well, forever. i can’t remember having blood drawn. i don’t want to subject myself to that. i can see blood, watch operations on tv and all the goriest movies without flinching, but when it comes to me being able to feel the blood leave my body, i get faint. i’m too in tune with my physical self for my own good. i’m getting light headed just thinking about it.

this visa thing is bothering me. not just because of the money, but i have a suspicion that someone may be trying to pull one over on me. i’m probably just reading too much into things, but boy would that suck. meh, live and learn i guess.