it’s amazing how a few little pieces of information can completely flip the way you see a person. oh well, i guess it’s natural and completely fine, just totally unexpected. i’m too drunk to write right now but things blew my mind tonight.

i miss people. i need people.

i’m fat. i need to work out again. i’ll get on that on thursday. too much to do in-between.

i’m happy, but it’s bitter sweet.

i’ve been in cambridge for a whole week and then some. i miss the money that i didn’t get to earn,  but it was worth it. i have one more week there anyway (as far as i know at the moment) so that’s more than enough to pay my bills and still have cash left over for christmas. one thing’s for sure though: i cannot do that job on a permanent basis. starting in the new year, i’ll take up the consulting job. from now to then i’ll try to get a bartending job for money and because i honestly really miss it. i’ll also look for other full time jobs that fit me better and give me places to grow, but the consulting position seems to be genuinely interesting. i’ll just have to take it and see. plus, the hours are awesome (12-8) and it’s so close so even if i have to take the bus i won’t have to leave 2 hours before i get there to make it on time. downside is i don’t get benefits for six months. so many things could happen in that time. if you were to tell me what was going to happen now six months ago, there’s no way in hell i’d believe you.

right now i’m hoping for a job at red lobster. why? i really don’t know, it just appeals to me for some reason. plus it’s close-ish so i don’t have to bust my ass getting there and it’s not the club scene so i won’t be there until 4am waiting to get paid. my tentative plan is to save up/pay off debt and then go to rome for a week’s vacation and then to australia for a six month to a year work term. that would be so amazing. that’s definitely a goal now. i might have to move out in that time which would suck, but i’m gagging for the freedom. i’m really in the zone of making stupid mistakes while knowing the consequences and not needing parents telling me how stupid is and punishing me for it.

anyway, i’m supposed to be cleaning to help a friend but i guess i have all night to do that too. it’s going to be an okay christmas.

i was exhausted on the way home so much so that i was falling asleep. i get home and my parents have decided to rifle through my purse and then bitch at me for spending money that i can absolutely spend. now i’m too fucking pissed off to sleep. fucking bastards. they better not sleep either. i’m going to go upstairs right now and make sure they don’t. fuckers.