*warning* this is written with no sleep and many pain-killers. be prepared for typos, missing/wrong words and nonsense. more than usual. believe it. *warning*

i would frequently see the video for ’shake it’ and swear i knew the ‘emo/scene’ looking kid from it. i guess that’s what i get for having acquaintances who are fashionable and for being molested with dyed black straightened hair, facial piercings and super skinny jean images. anyway, i looked them (metro station) up and they’re from hollywood, so i don’t know him. maybe he looks familiar from some sort of weird early morning family channel viewing, since he turns out to be miley cyrus’ half-brother. anyway, as i’ve said in the past, i’m sort of a sucker for the whole scene look no matter how conformist or homosexual it may be. i like girly guys. androgyny is sex. needless to say, i love trace cyrus.  the tattoos really help too.

the music is actually pretty good. it reminds me of the half of p!atd that i adore. not to mention the lyrics are super romantic but with just the right amount of naughtiness, innuendo and ambiguity to make it non-schmaltzy and possibly about drugs and not a girl. but because i am a stupid (single) girl, i like to imagine the words are for me. that sounds much more idiotic than it is, but i suppose it really is that idiotic. i mean, i don’t really think it’s written for me, but the whole fantasy idea of possibly having someone i.e trace write it for me is fun.

in serious news, i finally got a full-time job. not as much money as i wanted, but we’ll see how it goes for now. hehehe, i love trace. sorry, i’m listening to the album and his voice is nice and breathy so im all giddy. oh god, i’m such an idiot.

at times like this i always wonder what am i going to do with my life and i realize that i really, really love just doing nothing. i can’t do domething i love as a job because then it will be my job and i won’t love it because i have to do it. there’s something wrong with my programming where if i must do something i automatically hate it and never want to do it. even if it’s something i really love. even things that are really stupid. i’m the ultimate stubborn rebel, to ridiculous heights (lengths?).

i don’t know if i can do the whole school thing again. mandatory assignments, attendance etc. will totally screw me just like in the past. maybe if it’s part time. but i don’t like doing something all the time. like i said, i really like doing nothing. i would much rather be bored and have to do nothing than have things to do and be busy. let’s face it, if you have things to do, 85% of the time it’s things you don’t want to do and not actually entertaining things.

i think maybe part of my problem is that i’m a super multi-tasker to the point where i can’t function unless i’m doing two or three things at the same time. but i also have to be liking at least two of the things i’m doing. i wish i could put on a hat that rewired my brain for school and work and then took it off to enjoy my nothingness.

i should be getting the internet fo’ realz pretty soon. maybe i’ll start doing this on a regular basis again.

p.s. i <3 trace.