Jan 28
fed up
so the last few weeks i haven’t been actively searching for a job because i hate looking for jobs and i haven’t had an updated resume on my main computer in a while. now, of course, i’m starting to run out of funds. also, i can’t stand living at home anymore. as soon as my parents get home i become this stressed out, irritated harpy. i want to move downtown but you have to have a job before a place will let you move in but i don’t really want to commute from ’sauga every day for a 9-5 job because that will take a lot of time and money especially now that mississauga transit is $3.00 a pop. f-ing bastards. i should just become a hippy/bum and move to california.
there are lots of jobs out there, but they all want shit loads of experience for $10-12/hr. what the fuck are they thinking? gah. i’m just so frustrated with this whole situation. i know i should just get some shitty office job and make money for a year but i really start to go insane after about three months of doing the same pointless shit over and over. maybe if i was in some sort of career, i might not want to slit my throat or the people’s around me every day.
bartending is just as bad. they expect you to be a bartender and a waitress for minimum wage and you have to be sunshine and unicorns pouring out of your ass happy all the time otherwise you’re not a good enough ambassador for their shitty chain. shit. i know companies expect a comittment but that doesn’t mean i have to be super happy about doing a shitty job that no one else wants.
i just don’t get it. i can’t deal in this world. i can’t fake it. i can’t take it. fuck. i’m going to end up a bum because i hate people and most people don’t get me and i just don’t get them. if you’re told to make conversation with me, don’t ask me what my favourite fucking colour is. that’s the most stupid and inane shit i’ve ever heard. honestly, what do you expect my response to be? what the fuck kind of conversation is going to come out of that? maybe if i was some fucking dipshit i’d say ‘oh, i love pink. i’d have everything pink if i could. it just makes me so happy that i want to anally rape myself’. well, maybe not that last part.
1 comment1 Comment so far
I wish I could say something helpful… I have a mentality with the world at-large: if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Sometimes I find certain things (though the things might be different in nature from those things that you experience) exasperating and infuriating… but the status quo is what it is. I guess you have to, like, channel your rage into something productive.
With respect to housing, I think there is some shady student housing around (for which proof of work may not be required). But commuting from Mississauga might not be so bad, at least for the first few months. I did it all summer and a little into the fall; and Mel does it now.
I wish I could help you with the job thing. Have you tried services or agencies? There are some career-oriented services for young adults. For example: http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/training/cepp/aboutjc.html
Seriously though, I think the best thing to do is enrol in a university program that has alternating work and school terms (Waterloo has this system; I don’t know if U of T or Ryerson has it though). The university should also help you secure decent jobs for the work term — though there’s always the danger of not being able to secure a job. I think it’s a good system since you get to have a change of environment when you get sick of one thing (every four months), and you can save during your work term to pay for your following school term; and at the end, you get a degree, which doesn’t hurt.
And also: you shouldn’t settle for doing stupid, tedious things or working with stupid, boring people whose idea of conversation is discussing favourite colours.
If you want to just talk to someone, feel free to contact me (seriously).