obliviously obvious

i forgot to take my pill today, so i have a weird, almost drugged kind of tired feeling. note to self: never take ‘the pill’; it will do no good with my habits.

today was fun. long and tiring, but fun.

still no job because well i don’t really know why, so i’m not as elated as i once was. that was the perfect job. i don’t think i even stood a chance. the interview was great, but i think she already had someone else in mind and only interviewed people because she could, or something.

i have a lot of, dare i say, prospects on the line at the moment. i’m trying out for this on camera job-show type dealy thing. it should be interesting to say the least. it makes me think about taking journalism in university, but i’m terrible at meeting deadlines and that’s all that reporting/shows/news are all about. or at least they’re supposed to be. i think i could make up for that in charisma, charm and my on camera presence. people always say they have a hard time being on camera, but i never understood why. that thinking process doesn’t make sense to me.

maybe i could be a journalist like george stroumboulopoulos. i hung out with him today at the hour. well, maybe ‘hung out’ is the wrong term, but it’s my journal so i can use whatever terminology i like. we (me and him) did talk about breasts though, so i guess that constitutes as hanging out. he’s a super nice guy. he had a plane to catch that he was already running late for, but he still stopped to talk to us again on his way out of the building. he’s also taller than i thought he was and i was wearing heels, not my usual 3.5″, but still.

anyway, yes, journalism with a minor in psychology. i could handle that. financially not so much, but i’ve got a year. i’m not in a rush yet. when i’m still in school at twenty-five, then i’ll feel the rush. i feel it now, but only because i have no money. hah, as if more schooling is going to put money back into my pockets. now that i really think about it, journalism is kind of the perfect thing for me. it involves writing, people/things in the public eye, entertainment, it’s not a boring 9-5 job at a desk filing papers and you get to meet a lot of interesting people (usually). sounds like a plan.

i still haven’t broken the news to my parents. i’m waiting until i have a job before i tell them i want to spend more money. i think, like me, they’ll have mixed feelings and some reservations. will i stick with it? will i put in the effort to do well? etc. i’m hoping that if i express to them that i have no intention of them helping me with payments (damn all you lucky/rich bastards that pay nothing) and that university comes with osap so it’ll be semi-okay, they might actually be happy with my decision.

another thing i’m excited about (the other was ‘the hour’ and george) is having alan cross as my teacher. it might mean nothing to anyone else, but being the music nerd that i am, i’m ecstatic at being able to have his knowledge imparted directly to me. i’ve been listening to his show for almost a decade and he still teaches me things i never knew. he’s just full of information, experience and anecdotes. they’re not ego boosting bullshit anecdotes either. it’s amazing to interact with him for three hours every week. also, his music taste is impeccable.

time for sleep. i am tired and this entry took much longer than i anticipated. i got distracted by links on george’s site.

i got my visa in the mail today! hooray! my money problems are over, ha. it’s only a $1000 limit, but that should be more than enough for my needs. if it’s not, i’ll just get a different one. i might have to turn it in soon, anyway, if i leave metalworks. i will find that out tomorrow morning.

since i have to wake up semi-early, i’m going to sleep. long day today, but alan cross is awesome. that guy is the best celebrity ever.

today was a bad day, and i don’t think things are going to get any better in the near future. i hate my mother for being so negative and making me doubt my decision to go to metalworks. honestly, right now i believe i should’ve just gotten a job and applied to university instead. i suppose there would’ve been the same negative reactions with that too. they expect me to know exactly what i’m going to do with my life after i’m done. their reasoning being, ‘you’re twenty years old, for god’s sake. you should be living on your own and have a full time job.’ or something along those ridiculous extremes. well, at least i’m getting an education and i’m not going to get pregnant in three years. it doesn’t help me think i’m actually worth something when my parents are telling me otherwise.

in semi-related news, if anyone knows of any jobs in the mississauga area, tell me. i’ve been looking around. square one would be a good choice since my school is just around the corner. i just feel like a chump working for $8.00/hr when i could be a bartender and make so much more. of course, all the good jobs aren’t close. speaking of which, i really have to get my ass down to take my bartending test. i got harped for that one today, too.

i’m not looking forward to getting up at ass o’clock for 8:30 am class. i have a delightful three and a half hour wait for my next class after that one. i’m debating whether or not to go home. i guess it gives me a good hour, but the money . . . on the plus side, guest lecture with alan cross.

i do not want to be me right now.

p.s. i’m tired of spiders trying to build webs on my face. did i write that before? i don’t remember.