i’ve been in cambridge for a whole week and then some. i miss the money that i didn’t get to earn,  but it was worth it. i have one more week there anyway (as far as i know at the moment) so that’s more than enough to pay my bills and still have cash left over for christmas. one thing’s for sure though: i cannot do that job on a permanent basis. starting in the new year, i’ll take up the consulting job. from now to then i’ll try to get a bartending job for money and because i honestly really miss it. i’ll also look for other full time jobs that fit me better and give me places to grow, but the consulting position seems to be genuinely interesting. i’ll just have to take it and see. plus, the hours are awesome (12-8) and it’s so close so even if i have to take the bus i won’t have to leave 2 hours before i get there to make it on time. downside is i don’t get benefits for six months. so many things could happen in that time. if you were to tell me what was going to happen now six months ago, there’s no way in hell i’d believe you.

right now i’m hoping for a job at red lobster. why? i really don’t know, it just appeals to me for some reason. plus it’s close-ish so i don’t have to bust my ass getting there and it’s not the club scene so i won’t be there until 4am waiting to get paid. my tentative plan is to save up/pay off debt and then go to rome for a week’s vacation and then to australia for a six month to a year work term. that would be so amazing. that’s definitely a goal now. i might have to move out in that time which would suck, but i’m gagging for the freedom. i’m really in the zone of making stupid mistakes while knowing the consequences and not needing parents telling me how stupid is and punishing me for it.

anyway, i’m supposed to be cleaning to help a friend but i guess i have all night to do that too. it’s going to be an okay christmas.

i was ‘let go’ from yuk yuk’s for bullshit reasons, but there’s not much i can do about that. i realized that i’d been having so many dreams about jeff and his parents etc. because my boss’ boss (the who fired me) reminded me so much of his mom. there was like this fake niceness and awkwardness and i always felt on edge around her, like she was just waiting for me to trip up and anything i did wasn’t good enough. anyway, enough about that. (jeff’s mom wasn’t nearly as bad as my boss, but i guess it was just her mannerisms mixed with the ‘i’m doing everything wrong’ feeling that made me see it)

before i got fired, i bought one last semi-expensive purchase: a usb vocal microphone. is this a lead-in to a new path that i’ve chosen? not as such, no. at least not yet. i still need to pay off my current school debt and decide if i can really attempt school again. i just don’t think me and academia get along. i much prefer learning through life. granted, i don’t learn from school mistakes (i.e. not doing work) but that’s all part of the academia thing.

i’m really tempted to go to australia with one of those working plans and just stay there for six months or a year. see what happens and then maybe head to europe. when alex is done her schooling, we’ll head to l.a. and see if we can make it there. hopefully, i’ll have stayed connected/improved my connection with the incubus boys (insert ridiculously crazy giggle here) and that could possibly lead to something. you never know in this crazy thing called life.

back to the mic. i really just wanted it so i could work on my music more diligently.  i’ve heard recordings from webcam mics or regular non-music mics and the quality is brutal. i haven’t even tried mine out yet, but for my current purposes, it should be beyond adequate.

wednesday was a splendid evening and yet again, i had many a drink bought for me. i called a certain someone and it worked out great. i hope he calls me, but i’ll call him if it doesn’t happen soon. if it wasn’t for school, things would almost be going swimmingly.

i got the internship. my only concern is that it takes about two hours to get there by public transportation. even if i could drive, i don’t have a car that i could use to go all that way. i’m still thrilled that i got it though.

i’m also the permanent bartender at yuk yuk’s now. it’s more work than i thought. i was kind of spoiled at sin city because i didn’t have to do any of the prep work or back room inventory. now i do, so i have to make that adjustment. i make more per hour than club bartenders, but i get far fewer tips. i say this like i’ve worked here longer than two nights. my first night was stressful. i didn’t know i was going to be actually working not just shadowing and it was unbelievably busy. we’ll see how things go from now on.

i was going to have my birthday party this friday and i guess i still could, but i wouldn’t be at the club until 1 am because i have to work. my plan was to order a keg and reserve a room etc. but it seems excessive if i can’t even enjoy it in its entirety. meh, maybe later in the summer just for kicks.

today was so great! i’m glad too because yesterday was so crap. i’m still not out of that mess yet, but today more than makes up for it.

the interview for the internship at wind-up records was great after a shaky start. even if they don’t choose me now, they said they definitely want to have me in for the next time internships start. they had 350 applicants but they only asked eight for an interview. quite frankly, i was floored when they told me that, but proud and happy. i’ll write more about this later.

i just got back from my interview at yuk yuk’s and i start shadowing tomorrow at 8pm.  as much as i was hoping for it, i didn’t think i’d be starting this soon. i’m still in a tester position, but i think it’ll work out.

i have long tales to regale you with about both experiences, but i’m still too caught up in this moment of success to write about it.

yuk yuk’s got in touch me and they’re hiring again/still. there’s a new manager now. i’m a little confused, but only because the old manager’s email was kathryn, but her name was kate and now the new one’s name is kathryn too. i don’t know if it even is the same person or not. oh well, an interview (again) is an interview. also, some internship and other bartending positions are on the horizon. i have to polish my bragging skills to write a stand out introductory letter for my resume. it would be great if i got the internship. here’s hoping.

the title says it all and so has the action itself. big changes up ahead.

my goal for a year from now: move to los angeles. seriously, i have to get the hell out of here and move to the states where there are major cities right next to each other instead of hundreds of kilometres away. i’ll also be glad to be rid of winter for a while. i like snow, but it only hinders me and the things i want to do. i don’t like any winter sports, nor am i good at them. the only one i enjoy is skating and i haven’t done that properly in a long time. that can always be done in an arena anyway. it’s better there.

i am not in the mood or mindset to write an exam. i’ve been in la la land since friday. i can’t blame me. i mean, i’m going to meet my favourite band of all time. i’ve been on incubus overload and it’s still not enough. i feel stupid, but it’s really made me want to change things around.

i’m hoping i get a job on thursday. that would be sweet. i know where all my money’s going to go.

i’m gettng the hell out of here, asap!

p.s. i believe half of this entry was written with a slight bitter taste in my mouth. i’ll probably calm down later, or realize how right i was. ugh, i hate this feeling. i wish i knew what to do. i also need to take my pill. that’s probably also a huge factor in my bitter craziness.