obliviously obvious

i have so many options for tonight. now that i finally have a job and am no longer poor i can go to my beloved cambridge without feeling guilty. i have that option for the weekend but after last night’s show i kind of feel like more loud music, whether it’s ‘good’ or not. i could go to paula’s birthday party but i’m not entirely convinced i want to pay $30 in her favour. she does have a surprising amount of hot friends i can make out with though. that didn’t work out too well last time, but that shouldn’t be a problem this time. at least it shouldn’t be. do i really feel like clubbing tonight? do i really want to be away from home all weekend? i can’t decide right now so i will talk about the show.

it took me three fucking hours to get downtown. luckily i just missed the devil wears prada. i was praying to superman, buddha and allah so i wouldn’t miss sksk. i walked in and felt ancient. everyone there was the average age of sixteen. after my initial shock i headed to the coat check and asked about who had played already. the doors opened at 6:30 and i got there at 8:00 so i was slightly worried. i missed the devil wears prada and we guessed the line-up would be emery, sksk and then the headliner chiodos. we were wrong. sksk was next which disappointed me because i hadn’t made my way to the front. the mix was bad and their drums and bass were too loud but it was still a good show. they put on a good act. and chad is hot. actually, there are like 3-4 hot guys in that band. next was emery. i could like them a lot more if they weren’t christian. they put on an even crazier show thanks to one guy. they were quite entertaining and i was happy that i found a nice spot at the front in the corner next to the barrier. chiodos was next but i left my awesome spot before they came on because i was waiting for my ride. i could’ve stayed ’til the end but i didn’t want to put up with traffic. i listened to them before the concert in preparation. they are so much better live. their energy is unreal and the lead vox is crazy good at amping the crowd. now all i’m going to listen to for months are sksk and chiodos. i suggest you do the same.

now i have to go get ready for either cambridge or paula’s. *sigh* i’m going to end up in cambridge again even though i need to do laundry so badly.

i’ve been going to so many interviews and i’ve sent out even more resumes. things are going well. i’m temping tomorrow and the agency seems to be really good and eager to get me hired. i also have an interview with a talent agency on monday. that would be an awesome job if it paid just a little more. i guess it’s good for entry level though and it’s good experience in any case. i had an interview today with a consulting agency. that seems like a good job too. lots of opportunity for growth and the hours are pretty awesome. at the moment i have three possible full-time awesome jobs lined up. hopefully something will work out.

in other exciting news, i’m going to the chiodos show next thursday. i’m actually going because scary kids scaring kids is playing but i like chiodos too so it all works out. it would’ve been cheap if ticketmaster didn’t like ass raping so much. fecking bastards. i also want to go to a show tomorrow of a local band that i really like. anyone want to go? going to a show after work. ah, life, you are grand.

i should work for immortal. i love every band they sign. i think they know that too; they requested to be my friend on myspace. i love myspace.

now i’m going to watch secretary. hot!

a long time ago i wrote how i go through phases of interests. i’ll cycle through anime, music and video games as my main time eater. right now i’m in an anime/manga phase. reading off a computer screen is always annoying but paying $10 a book is more so. where is this leading? nowhere. i just want to listen to my anime music but can’t find anything to do that’s stimulating enough but not distracting. plus, my internet’s unbearably slow due to me downloading a gazillion anime series.

there are so many things i need to do. a lot of them i just think i need to do but they don’t really.

should i go to this concert tomorrow? i haven’t been out of the house in a while. god i’m sad.

i miss things. mexico or not? i really shouldn’t spend the money, but i really want to see incubus again. maybe i should send a message and see if my hunch is correct and then base it on that. at least then i know i’m not wasting money. it’s not a waste if that doesn’t happen, it’s just too expensive for right now.

there’s thanksgiving to ‘look forward to’. i’ll have fun on saturday.

bah. there’s so much i want to do creatively and career-wise etc, yet i never make a step towards any of it. even if i did do what i want to do so badly, i don’t know if i’d make it all the way through or even gain anything from it besides knowledge. i really just want to skip ahead and learn opera. or travel the world. i’m in a sighing mood.

• apply for passport renewal
• get job
• buy concert tickets
• book package deal to mexico
• save money for said trip to mexico
• have best time of life
• pay off debts for many, many years

does anyone know if google ads are worth it? i’ve been thinking about it just because.

i could probably sing all of morning view (ouch it only got 2 1/2 stars from rolling stone. they suck anyway), including all the harmonies and embellishments (even the ones that have only been done a few times in live performances), in my sleep. how’s that for a run-on sentence?

to say he only ever had two lessons, b’s a pretty good singer, technically i mean. he’s only gotten better too. most people get gradually worse, but his technique’s improved. his diction and phrasing has always been above par in the ‘pop’ world. i suppose that comes with being a poet. hehe, he’s a poet. that sounds so funny. he’s really settled into what he can do. he’s only thirty-one. that’s quite a feat. a lot of people can’t be taught that kind of control, let alone grasp it naturally. gee whitney, do you really need to be singing (pun unintended) his praises anymore? we all know he’s perfectly perfect in every way. it would be really bad if he somehow read this one day. it’s not entirely impossible.

it still blows my mind. it seriously feels like some wonderful dream that happened. of course there’s little secrets that i keep which make the night even more special, but i’ll never tell. Read more

i still haven’t read the iov board. i’m killing myself. i did however have a lengthy *ahem* discussion on the incubus group on facebook. needless to say, i won. of course the other side didn’t think so, but that’s because his head was so far up his ass . . . fill in own comparison here.

i’m having so much incubus withdrawal it’s not funny. luckily there’s news that they may start working on new album material right after the european tour. unfortunately, i still think they won’t be touring for another three to four years. gee, b’ll be thirty-five. i’ll be twenty-five. ugh, how depressing.

i still look at their pictures and can’t believe that night. it’s kind of weird how i feel right now. i’m right on the line between hysterical hope and belief that it was all meant to be and shockingly depressing realism of my inconsequential existence.

i really need to start fueling my creativity again. why do i lack so much initiative? my vocabulary is so poor right now. i can’t remember anything. i couldn’t remember vocabulary for crying out loud. i can practically feel my intelligence/life draining away. i’m meant for so much more than this. i know nothing will happen if i don’t try but trying is so hard. plus, i’ve pretty much gotten what i’ve wanted until now with minimal effort. i suppose i have to start putting in more if i want more. i know all this already, the trouble is in the doing. so often i’ve put in effort and got back minimal improvements in results. bah. on that note, i desperately need to take vocal lessons again.

now it’s headphone time, because everything sounds better on headphones unless it’s live and being blasted on twenty or so incredibly loud speakers. *sigh* it’ll be a long while until i get that again. unless . . . is it time for another crazy scheme? hey, this is how the last one started and that turned out amazingly surreal. i say i give it a shot. it all starts tomorrow when i go out for job interviews. here’s to it.