Archive for the ‘drunk’ Category

so i didn’t make it onto the argos cheerleading team, but i did make it to finals and if i hadn’t got such a god-awful question, i might’ve made the team. it was still great to go that far and if i’m in the country next year with time to spare, i may try for it again. i did manage to catch a glimpse of myself dancing in the video that the toronto sun had up and i didn’t look like a retard, so i guess that’s a plus. on the day, my prediction was that kaitlyn would make it and i wouldn’t; damn my psychic tendencies. i’m happy that one of us made it though. if i had made it, i don’t know how committed i really would’ve been. since kaitlyn made it, i guess it would’ve been fine ’cause we’d do it together, but other than that it’s pretty time consuming. i also wish i had gotten a chance to see some of the performances before i had gone, that would’ve helped too. oh well. things to keep in mind for next year. still, i never expected to even make it past round one, so i’m proud of how far i got.

party’s on saturday. bring whatever you think will be fun (games, video games, movies, music etc.) and we’ll all have a great drunken time.

i got back from the vermont trip on sunday, had one day of rest away from the same people in which i slept and played guitar hero, then met up with all of them again for new year’s eve. much drunkenness and joy was had. we even went skating. it was quite fun. then i made out with minh and lots of pictures were taken. crazy drunk people.

i’m really glad that i decided to go on that trip last minute. it turned out to be one of the best things all year. i need to be with those people more often. it’s always a good time.

now it’s a new year and i need to get a job. boo. i’m in holiday/vacation mode. let’s be honest, i’m always in that mode. however, i’m certain that after i pay for the trip i will be broke again. i did get some awesome snowpants and boots out of it, so i guess it’s worth it. and of course the memories.

now i’m off to play guitar hero again because i’m super cool like that. it’s how i roll.

oh yeah, happy new year and holidays and all that!

it’s amazing how a few little pieces of information can completely flip the way you see a person. oh well, i guess it’s natural and completely fine, just totally unexpected. i’m too drunk to write right now but things blew my mind tonight.

i miss people. i need people.

i’m fat. i need to work out again. i’ll get on that on thursday. too much to do in-between.

i’m happy, but it’s bitter sweet.

i messed things up again. i hate this feeling. and i hate that he goes to her. she’s not a good friend. a good friend wouldn’t have done what she did. i’m probably just jealous. i just want to move far away and start fresh with a clean slate. go somewhere and start something where if i mess up, it doesn’t matter and i can just leave without any major consequences.

right now i just want to shut off my brain and forget everything. i really need to start therapy. i’m not getting better, which became blatantly clear last night. i also think it has to do with going from everything to nothing with no support system for the interim.  no communication, no closure, nothing.

my mom wants to take me for my blood tests tomorrow. i’m fairly certain i’ll pass out. just the thought of feeling blood leave me makes me woozy and i have to lie down.

hopefully i’ll have a good time tomorrow. industry party at the drake, although i think the location’s been changed. i’m not sure if i dreamed it or if i was told when i was drunk. i hate that. so many times. the best part is i can’t very well say ’sorry, i dreamed that i sent you the assignment, that’s why you never got it.’ who’s going to believe that? they really are that vivid. a blessing and a curse; latter in more recent times than i care for.

the point is, i hate what i did and that i always get like that. it causes nothing but guilt and anxiety for myself. more than that, i hate that it hurts other people too. boo. sucks to me.

it is now 6:30am and i’m still awake. i’m really tired, but i’ve been keeping myself awake for some unknown reason. it probably has to do with sadness and missing people. ew. i don’t want to, i just can’t help it. i almost feel like i’ve come full circle and i’m right back where i started before anything happened.

sleep or all-nighter? i’m going to choose sleep because 1. i hope to have dreams that will help me cope and 2. i have to work tonight.

at least i had fun going out drinking my free bacardi 151. nothing quite like having your bill being paid for you. good times.

i don’t want to go to school unless i’m singing at it!

i’ve got wordpress up and running on my domain. check it out if you want, but it’s all just test stuff. yes, i got someone else to install it for me, not because i’m not capable, but because i’m truly lazy and customizing is enough work/decisions. plus, if you can have someone do it for you for free, why the hell not? i know i could’ve just deleted everything and made it look like i did it myself but i at least owe them advertising for a bit and i don’t want to be a dirty liar. oh yeah, that means i got hosting too. it’s free and if i want to upgrade it’s super cheap with the best package being only $7.95 USD/month. other added stuff (more bandwidth, additional storage space etc.) is only $1/month so if need be i can always do that.

as for right now, i’m going to sleep because i haven’t gotten much of it in the last little while due to partying and that’s not changing any time soon either. i’m officially twenty-one and i’ll be out on the town all night tonight. it’s going to be a blast. hmm, maybe i should go to the bank first. nah, i should be cool.