Archive for the ‘exercise’ Category

so i decided to try-out for the argos cheerleading squad. i don’t expect to make it, but there’s no harm in trying. plus it’ll give me extra motivation to lose weight. i’ve let myself go in the past six months. something needs to be done and fast. it’ll be a fun two weeks trying to tone and limber myself. then i’ll get back into modelling hopefully.

at the moment, i’m going to stop procrastinating and add things to my resume so i can have a decent shot at becoming a talent scout. here goes. i hate it when i get excited about things before they even happen.

my goal for the summer: to look super hot in this

ugh, lot of hard work ahead. i think it’ll be worth it.

p.s. i mean the bikini, not sports illustrated magazine, just in case you were confused. hah.

how did it get to be 4 in the morning? i need to drink more. oh yeah, all those calories. i need to do something more.

i was so sad today. my dreams keep reminding me of everything. it hurts a lot. it’s numbingly painful. there’s nothing i can do. and i hate the thought of certain people knowing. blah.

i miss things i’ve never had. am i crazy? yes.

i think i’ll medicate myself with exercise. its purpose will be two-fold; get me in shape for may/summer and release endorphins/give me something to do. it’s not the exercise i hate, it’s all the maintenance that comes with it. i have to shower and do my hair and make-up afterwards. that’s too much work by itself, let alone after i’ve been running for an hour. i guess i don’t really have to do my hair or make-up, i just hate thinking that i look like crap. i can’t escape the memories. i just remembered a surprisingly sweet sentiment about how i looked after working out and without make-up on. stupid brain! why must you connect things all the time?! i can’t even forget in my dreams. i’ll forever be tormented by the pain i caused.

that’s enough of my melodrama for tonight. i’m going to try to sleep and probably have bittersweet dreams.

p.s. esthero is amazing. i love her.

p.p.s. my new url has thrown off quite a few people. i’m half amused by it.

i want to watch a movie, but i have to wake up early to work out. oy, i guess i’ll just watch it later.

i finally had an awesome dream! it was awesome. that one’s definitely a keeper. why am i writing this now? to procrastinate, of course. i still have to start some sort of dream journal. my problem is that i can’t write fast enough to get all the main points down. anyway, off to not be a fat slob.

woo! canada wins the gold! not a bad looking team either.

start working out. seriously.

and eat better.

update - does it make me a nerd if i get really, really excited about listening to the incubus album with headphones? yes? yeah, i thought so. i can’t believe i haven’t done it yet. i know what i’m doing to fall asleep tonight/this morning. hehehee. yay! so excited!