obliviously obvious

i’ve been going to so many interviews and i’ve sent out even more resumes. things are going well. i’m temping tomorrow and the agency seems to be really good and eager to get me hired. i also have an interview with a talent agency on monday. that would be an awesome job if it paid just a little more. i guess it’s good for entry level though and it’s good experience in any case. i had an interview today with a consulting agency. that seems like a good job too. lots of opportunity for growth and the hours are pretty awesome. at the moment i have three possible full-time awesome jobs lined up. hopefully something will work out.

in other exciting news, i’m going to the chiodos show next thursday. i’m actually going because scary kids scaring kids is playing but i like chiodos too so it all works out. it would’ve been cheap if ticketmaster didn’t like ass raping so much. fecking bastards. i also want to go to a show tomorrow of a local band that i really like. anyone want to go? going to a show after work. ah, life, you are grand.

i should work for immortal. i love every band they sign. i think they know that too; they requested to be my friend on myspace. i love myspace.

now i’m going to watch secretary. hot!

i really should be sleeping right now because i have an interview at three and i have other stuff to do too. i fell asleep at eight pm or something ridiculous so now i can’t sleep and i’m extraordinarily hungry. i really want a job just so i can take vocal lessons again. i don’t think i’ve ever even come close to my true potential. unfortunately, i don’t know if private lessons would ever get me there either. i should probably try the rcm. i think i can make the winter session if i get a job within the month. it depresses me to think how much time i’ve wasted.

i think i really will go for a degree in music with a minor in japanese, or vice versa. although i think a major in music is easier than a major in bullshit cultural studies with some japanese language courses thrown in. meh, maybe i’ll just go to college for music and then transfer to somewhere for my masters. i guess it all starts with acquiring money.

i just realized i have three places i can go tomorrow and also a phone interview.  hmm, maybe just two places. i don’t think i can make it back past home before five. i’ll just have to see. i need a car too. bah.

yeah you. the one who keeps relentlessly checking my site for new information. i know who you are. just stop already. if you’re that interested just sign up with an aggregator so you can just check that. or do what other smart people do and use google reader.

i really don’t know why i’m irritated by it. i guess i should be, erm, flattered i guess, that you’ve taken such an  interest in my ‘life’. it’s what i should expect from having a web address with my name and various links here and there. i guess it’s kind of because i don’t really know you but that’s the internet: a double-edged sword.

in non-spazzing out news i desperately need to take singing lessons again. not only because i’m letting my natural talent waste away and i’m actually losing it, but also i think it would bring a lot of happiness back into my life. especially if i start with no intentions other than to get back up to speed and to see just how damn good i can get.  it’s baffling how some people can find singing languages troubling. i suppose that’s unfair since that was one of my many strengths, along with impossibly high notes, impeccable diction, close to perfect pitch and impressive range for a pure soprano; not that i’m blowing my own horn or anything. *sigh* now, once again it’s too late to sing plus i’m in pain due to cramps. job interviews should be fun tomorrow!

does anyone know if google ads are worth it? i’ve been thinking about it just because.

i could probably sing all of morning view (ouch it only got 2 1/2 stars from rolling stone. they suck anyway), including all the harmonies and embellishments (even the ones that have only been done a few times in live performances), in my sleep. how’s that for a run-on sentence?

to say he only ever had two lessons, b’s a pretty good singer, technically i mean. he’s only gotten better too. most people get gradually worse, but his technique’s improved. his diction and phrasing has always been above par in the ‘pop’ world. i suppose that comes with being a poet. hehe, he’s a poet. that sounds so funny. he’s really settled into what he can do. he’s only thirty-one. that’s quite a feat. a lot of people can’t be taught that kind of control, let alone grasp it naturally. gee whitney, do you really need to be singing (pun unintended) his praises anymore? we all know he’s perfectly perfect in every way. it would be really bad if he somehow read this one day. it’s not entirely impossible.

it still blows my mind. it seriously feels like some wonderful dream that happened. of course there’s little secrets that i keep which make the night even more special, but i’ll never tell. Read more

i still haven’t read the iov board. i’m killing myself. i did however have a lengthy *ahem* discussion on the incubus group on facebook. needless to say, i won. of course the other side didn’t think so, but that’s because his head was so far up his ass . . . fill in own comparison here.

i’m having so much incubus withdrawal it’s not funny. luckily there’s news that they may start working on new album material right after the european tour. unfortunately, i still think they won’t be touring for another three to four years. gee, b’ll be thirty-five. i’ll be twenty-five. ugh, how depressing.

i still look at their pictures and can’t believe that night. it’s kind of weird how i feel right now. i’m right on the line between hysterical hope and belief that it was all meant to be and shockingly depressing realism of my inconsequential existence.

i really need to start fueling my creativity again. why do i lack so much initiative? my vocabulary is so poor right now. i can’t remember anything. i couldn’t remember vocabulary for crying out loud. i can practically feel my intelligence/life draining away. i’m meant for so much more than this. i know nothing will happen if i don’t try but trying is so hard. plus, i’ve pretty much gotten what i’ve wanted until now with minimal effort. i suppose i have to start putting in more if i want more. i know all this already, the trouble is in the doing. so often i’ve put in effort and got back minimal improvements in results. bah. on that note, i desperately need to take vocal lessons again.

now it’s headphone time, because everything sounds better on headphones unless it’s live and being blasted on twenty or so incredibly loud speakers. *sigh* it’ll be a long while until i get that again. unless . . . is it time for another crazy scheme? hey, this is how the last one started and that turned out amazingly surreal. i say i give it a shot. it all starts tomorrow when i go out for job interviews. here’s to it.

i know you’ve been pretty good to me this year, getting me into the incubus after party and all, but i’d really appreciate it if you could see your way into making that not happen. it’s not overly important, but it would make up for losing my job. it also would help me know that i don’t suck and verify my assumptions of other suckage. it would just seem rather unfair considering my talent, background and knowledge compared to what’s being offered. if you can’t make it completely inaccessible, at least put up a few challenging roadblocks that will eventually lead to failure.

thanks!

- whitney

p.s. if i decide to take the same road again later in life, can you make things go better? i’ll try this time, scout’s honour.