Archive for the 'pain' Category
i don’t want to feel like this
there better be a party or something this weekend, because i desperately need to get drunk. or high, but not a laughy goofy high. i need a real, super happy high. a kind of high that makes you feel actually happy not just masks the pain. i think this is what i did last time i went through a break up. it screwed me over pretty well. i couldn’t handle school and my coping mechanism for the pain. i shouldn’t do it again, but i think i can deal this time. plus, i don’t really see any other way. i can’t stand it anymore. it’s starting to make me angry because i want to be with him so much.
i can’t take this! and why isn’t anyone responding to my emails!? i need money and that ps2. i feel like an addict jonesing for my next fix. i can’t have the drug i need, so i’ll just go for what i can get. except it’s real drugs and not other people in place of the person drug. i can’t do that. well, i can i just don’t want to because that would just really destroy me. as if i’m not completely destroyed already.
i need a vacation. i need to get away. i need jeff back.
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