Archive for the ‘plans’ Category

how have i managed to survive? on a diet of video games and anime. i’m coming to a shortage of both. over the weeks i would randomly turn on my laptop to see if i could steal some wireless from anywhere. low and behold, it worked today. how’s life? complicated. i don’t think i’m up for discussing the brunt of it just yet, but i will say that it’s not good and it is a lifelong, life changing event.

being away from the internet and then coming back has made me want to get away from the former me even more. maybe i’ll try for nyu if the australia thing doesn’t work out. i just need a fresh start and new people that i really, genuinely like. oh, and money. lots of that would be nice too. i can’t say i’ve been trying real hard though. it’s been difficult the past few weeks with all the snow and cold and no internet. i’m not exactly motivated to go out when i have to take the bus to places that probably won’t hire me. ugh. job hunting is so depressing. i think i hate the travelling the most. just give me the job and let me work. i don’t want to be part of a team, i just want to do what i’m paid for and then leave. too anti-social? i guess that’s because i’m imagining a job that i’ll have just for the money.

stupid wordpress has another update. surprise surprise. i don’t have the patience right now. now i’m caught up in a guide on how to teach yourself japanese (my minor when i go back to school).

i’ve been in cambridge for a whole week and then some. i miss the money that i didn’t get to earn,  but it was worth it. i have one more week there anyway (as far as i know at the moment) so that’s more than enough to pay my bills and still have cash left over for christmas. one thing’s for sure though: i cannot do that job on a permanent basis. starting in the new year, i’ll take up the consulting job. from now to then i’ll try to get a bartending job for money and because i honestly really miss it. i’ll also look for other full time jobs that fit me better and give me places to grow, but the consulting position seems to be genuinely interesting. i’ll just have to take it and see. plus, the hours are awesome (12-8) and it’s so close so even if i have to take the bus i won’t have to leave 2 hours before i get there to make it on time. downside is i don’t get benefits for six months. so many things could happen in that time. if you were to tell me what was going to happen now six months ago, there’s no way in hell i’d believe you.

right now i’m hoping for a job at red lobster. why? i really don’t know, it just appeals to me for some reason. plus it’s close-ish so i don’t have to bust my ass getting there and it’s not the club scene so i won’t be there until 4am waiting to get paid. my tentative plan is to save up/pay off debt and then go to rome for a week’s vacation and then to australia for a six month to a year work term. that would be so amazing. that’s definitely a goal now. i might have to move out in that time which would suck, but i’m gagging for the freedom. i’m really in the zone of making stupid mistakes while knowing the consequences and not needing parents telling me how stupid is and punishing me for it.

anyway, i’m supposed to be cleaning to help a friend but i guess i have all night to do that too. it’s going to be an okay christmas.

i have so many options for tonight. now that i finally have a job and am no longer poor i can go to my beloved cambridge without feeling guilty. i have that option for the weekend but after last night’s show i kind of feel like more loud music, whether it’s ‘good’ or not. i could go to paula’s birthday party but i’m not entirely convinced i want to pay $30 in her favour. she does have a surprising amount of hot friends i can make out with though. that didn’t work out too well last time, but that shouldn’t be a problem this time. at least it shouldn’t be. do i really feel like clubbing tonight? do i really want to be away from home all weekend? i can’t decide right now so i will talk about the show.

it took me three fucking hours to get downtown. luckily i just missed the devil wears prada. i was praying to superman, buddha and allah so i wouldn’t miss sksk. i walked in and felt ancient. everyone there was the average age of sixteen. after my initial shock i headed to the coat check and asked about who had played already. the doors opened at 6:30 and i got there at 8:00 so i was slightly worried. i missed the devil wears prada and we guessed the line-up would be emery, sksk and then the headliner chiodos. we were wrong. sksk was next which disappointed me because i hadn’t made my way to the front. the mix was bad and their drums and bass were too loud but it was still a good show. they put on a good act. and chad is hot. actually, there are like 3-4 hot guys in that band. next was emery. i could like them a lot more if they weren’t christian. they put on an even crazier show thanks to one guy. they were quite entertaining and i was happy that i found a nice spot at the front in the corner next to the barrier. chiodos was next but i left my awesome spot before they came on because i was waiting for my ride. i could’ve stayed ’til the end but i didn’t want to put up with traffic. i listened to them before the concert in preparation. they are so much better live. their energy is unreal and the lead vox is crazy good at amping the crowd. now all i’m going to listen to for months are sksk and chiodos. i suggest you do the same.

now i have to go get ready for either cambridge or paula’s. *sigh* i’m going to end up in cambridge again even though i need to do laundry so badly.

i really should be sleeping right now because i have an interview at three and i have other stuff to do too. i fell asleep at eight pm or something ridiculous so now i can’t sleep and i’m extraordinarily hungry. i really want a job just so i can take vocal lessons again. i don’t think i’ve ever even come close to my true potential. unfortunately, i don’t know if private lessons would ever get me there either. i should probably try the rcm. i think i can make the winter session if i get a job within the month. it depresses me to think how much time i’ve wasted.

i think i really will go for a degree in music with a minor in japanese, or vice versa. although i think a major in music is easier than a major in bullshit cultural studies with some japanese language courses thrown in. meh, maybe i’ll just go to college for music and then transfer to somewhere for my masters. i guess it all starts with acquiring money.

i just realized i have three places i can go tomorrow and also a phone interview.  hmm, maybe just two places. i don’t think i can make it back past home before five. i’ll just have to see. i need a car too. bah.

• apply for passport renewal
• get job
• buy concert tickets
• book package deal to mexico
• save money for said trip to mexico
• have best time of life
• pay off debts for many, many years

i still haven’t read the iov board. i’m killing myself. i did however have a lengthy *ahem* discussion on the incubus group on facebook. needless to say, i won. of course the other side didn’t think so, but that’s because his head was so far up his ass . . . fill in own comparison here.

i’m having so much incubus withdrawal it’s not funny. luckily there’s news that they may start working on new album material right after the european tour. unfortunately, i still think they won’t be touring for another three to four years. gee, b’ll be thirty-five. i’ll be twenty-five. ugh, how depressing.

i still look at their pictures and can’t believe that night. it’s kind of weird how i feel right now. i’m right on the line between hysterical hope and belief that it was all meant to be and shockingly depressing realism of my inconsequential existence.

i really need to start fueling my creativity again. why do i lack so much initiative? my vocabulary is so poor right now. i can’t remember anything. i couldn’t remember vocabulary for crying out loud. i can practically feel my intelligence/life draining away. i’m meant for so much more than this. i know nothing will happen if i don’t try but trying is so hard. plus, i’ve pretty much gotten what i’ve wanted until now with minimal effort. i suppose i have to start putting in more if i want more. i know all this already, the trouble is in the doing. so often i’ve put in effort and got back minimal improvements in results. bah. on that note, i desperately need to take vocal lessons again.

now it’s headphone time, because everything sounds better on headphones unless it’s live and being blasted on twenty or so incredibly loud speakers. *sigh* it’ll be a long while until i get that again. unless . . . is it time for another crazy scheme? hey, this is how the last one started and that turned out amazingly surreal. i say i give it a shot. it all starts tomorrow when i go out for job interviews. here’s to it.