obliviously obvious

i’ve started this entry so many times. i don’t even know where to begin. my life’s been a whirlwind since i last wrote. i guess i’ll just write down the facts and skip over the emotions for now, if not forever.

end of september/beginning of october my granddad went into the hospital because he was really sick and we thought it was food poisoning because it had lasted about four days. before i continue, i should point out that he was healthy and only fifty-eight years old. not my biological granddad, but no one knows where that bastard is, so he’s the only granddad i’ve known my whole life. anyway, he had to have surgery to remove a blockage in his intestine. turns out it was cancer. not just regular cancer, but stage four terminal cancer. the surgeon said he thought my granddad had until the end of the year, if that. he lasted another three weeks and (it was somehow) surprisingly died on october seventeenth.

it was/is a really difficult time for my family, my nana especially. there’s also a whole bunch of other family stuff that doesn’t make it any better, but it’s not my place to spill our family problems.

i suppose i go on to now: i’m in rome. i’ve been here since november tenth. it’s pretty great. i’m in a great place with amazing people and i’m so very lucky and happy. i guess if i’m really honest, i’ll admit that i’ve had quite a few dreams involving my granddad and his death. i’ve been lucky to have good people supporting me through that too. i’m still just slightly numb on the whole subject.

i’m in europe until december twenty-ninth. quite a bit of time left. i’m glad. i need the break. from everything. sorry, i guess i just haven’t really been thinking about it and writing about it now is opening it all up again.

in any case, i have to go prepare some dinner and then make apple crumble.

within a month i will be moving. not out for good, but either to the caribbean seas or rome. i’m going for an interview to be a bartender on royal caribbean/other cruise lines for six months. if that doesn’t work out, then i’ll be heading to rome probably for two months or less depending on accommodations. in any case, i’ll be leaving canada for a while and it shall be splendid. i’m thrilled that my parents are thrilled. i’m thrilled that i’ll be going. even if neither of those plans happens, i’m going on vacation to somewhere tropical for at least a week.
 
my future future plans are to live in thailand, at least for a little while. then i can move to australia for a bit and then finally to la. i have lofty goals.

i ordered one of those sumo bean bag chairs. that should be coming in shortly. i can’t wait. it looks so comfy. i wonder how much it would cost to bring it to rome. it can’t be that much, can it?
 
i’ve been looking at places to live/jobs in rome in case i stay there for a while. the jobs i’ve seen so far call for extremely proficient english skills and that’s about it. i’m sure if i started now, i could understand/speak enough italian to get by for the time i leave. as for places to live, there’ve been a few that seemed affordable. plus, everything is gorgeous over there. even if it’s a dump, it’s still a classy looking dump that i’d love to call my own for a few months.
 
hmm, well i guess it’s lunch time.