obliviously obvious

i don’t know what’s been going on with my stomach lately, but i’d really appreciate not getting stabbing pains that make me wish i was dead. the first time was yesterday as i was walking home from a very successful exam and shopping excursion.

the exam was for my data analysis and stats course. the teacher is great and his exams are exactly what he says they are going to be. i ended up being late because the power went out so my alarm clock didn’t go off. thankfully, i still woke up in time to get there and write the exam; i was done in about thirty minutes. it was great! i decided to partially celebrate my kicking of said exam’s ass by stopping at square one when i transferred buses to see if i could find myself a nice summer/t-shirt dress for $20 or so. this was inspired by an outfit i saw of a fellow bus rider. she had on a red and white striped halter dress with white flip-flops and a white purse. it looked summery, clean and stylish. i said i’d buy something if i could find something in a nice green or purple because i don’t have many (if any) clothes in those colours.

alas, i suppose it was not meant to be since i didn’t manage to find anything in my price range or selected colours. i contemplated dropping into eb games, but i just looked around there a couple of weeks ago, so i doubted they would have anything new that i’d want. then i remembered that i had a gift certificate for mac and i decided to buy a new lip gloss.

i had searched the mac site earlier to see if there was anything particularly close to what i was looking for. i found these. after messing around with the testers and tester holder for about fifteen minutes, i decided on fuchsia fix, which looks a lot brighter in the pot than what it actually is. it’s just the tiniest hint of pink, but it moisturizes my lips quite nicely. i bought that and i still have money left. hooray!

anyway, i was walking home and nearly there when my stomach starts to hurt. it kind of feels like cramps, and gas mixed together i.e. it’s painful. i get home and the pain keeps getting worse. then i start feeling nauseous and i don’t know if i’m going to puke or . . . something else. i was also breaking out in a sweat, not only from the heat outside but because of the pain. so i lay on the bathroom floor not knowing what to do, ready to puke or pass out. the tiles were refreshingly cool and that’s the only form of comfort i had. eventually the intensity faded and i headed into the icebox of a basement for some relief. the pain was still there, but it came and went in waves.

the rest of the night i was fine and i thought it was a one time event. then it happened again today. i really hope it doesn’t happen again tomorrow.

on a completely (almost) different note, i still need more hats. they had a fedora-like one at h&m that i wouldn’t mind. i didn’t try it on properly because my hair was in a ponytail, but it still looked good even placed atop the ponytail bump. i also have far too much money that i need to keep for seattle. but my visa was taken and someone took out $500 on it so i don’t even know if i can afford seattle now. i should’ve called it in when i saw it was missing, but i really thought it was just at home. i’ve got a month to get it all sorted before i start paying interest. at least i learned something: always call it in as soon as it’s missing. even if it had been at home and i found it later, the only price would be waiting for my new card to show up. thankfully, i haven’t given out my pin to anyone, so they should be able to find who did it. at the very least, they’ll know i’m not scamming them and won’t make me pay them $500 back. bah. this better work out somehow.

i’ve had far too much to drink for a weekday night, especially considering i have class tomorrow at noon. however, considering the last six months i’ve had, i’m really not that bad. plus, i’m hoping to be even drunker tomorrow afternoon, so i can’t condemn myself now.

certain people should consider themselves lucky that they’re not online, otherwise they’d be getting an eyeful. okay, well i wouldn’t be mad at them, i’d just be asking a lot of unpleasant questions.

i love that no one responded to my ‘i’m sorry’ post. i guess i must be perfect and have absolutely no flaws whatsoever. that’s a relief. for a while i thought i might have to try to change myself to become a better person.

i’ve seriously been considering going to university. i want to go for the experience and to learn more, but i feel stupid going back for something (most likely psychology or, even less likely, music) that isn’t at all related to what i’ve already spent thousands of dollars on learning. i definitely can’t go this september because i want to get my debts under some sort of control before i get myself into more debt. also, i want to get an internship and try really hard at what i’ve been learning so far and see if this career suits me. it really all depends on what happens in the next six months. i think i’d still like to get a degree in something, but hopefully by the time that comes around my company will pay for it. unfortunately, if i’m at a major record label, that won’t be the case. they’re downsizing constantly like nobody’s business. i should go into publishing or management. management’s a lot of work. i’d have to find a band first and then be dedicated to it. that’s the only way i could handle the workload of being a manager. too bad incubus already has rennie, the best damn manager in the business. i could join that company though. that’d be sweet. *sigh* that’s my new goal. one day . . .

i’m counting down the days until i go to seattle. i don’t know if i’ll be able to afford it, but i really don’t care. i seriously need to spend a good week with tal. that girl is the only thing in my life that’s stable. that’s kind of ironic, but only in the sense of the song, not in the real meaning. sorry, i’m a little bit drunk.

okay, time for gaming and music. the few things keeping me sane during this very, very, very depressing, lonely and sad time in my life.

p.s. :P to you if you don’t think i should be sad. i don’t like you anyway, so i don’t care if you don’t like me. also, i love myspace. it offers so many connections. *sigh*