yeah you. the one who keeps relentlessly checking my site for new information. i know who you are. just stop already. if you’re that interested just sign up with an aggregator so you can just check that. or do what other smart people do and use google reader.

i really don’t know why i’m irritated by it. i guess i should be, erm, flattered i guess, that you’ve taken such an  interest in my ‘life’. it’s what i should expect from having a web address with my name and various links here and there. i guess it’s kind of because i don’t really know you but that’s the internet: a double-edged sword.

in non-spazzing out news i desperately need to take singing lessons again. not only because i’m letting my natural talent waste away and i’m actually losing it, but also i think it would bring a lot of happiness back into my life. especially if i start with no intentions other than to get back up to speed and to see just how damn good i can get.  it’s baffling how some people can find singing languages troubling. i suppose that’s unfair since that was one of my many strengths, along with impossibly high notes, impeccable diction, close to perfect pitch and impressive range for a pure soprano; not that i’m blowing my own horn or anything. *sigh* now, once again it’s too late to sing plus i’m in pain due to cramps. job interviews should be fun tomorrow!

does anyone know if google ads are worth it? i’ve been thinking about it just because.

i could probably sing all of morning view (ouch it only got 2 1/2 stars from rolling stone. they suck anyway), including all the harmonies and embellishments (even the ones that have only been done a few times in live performances), in my sleep. how’s that for a run-on sentence?

to say he only ever had two lessons, b’s a pretty good singer, technically i mean. he’s only gotten better too. most people get gradually worse, but his technique’s improved. his diction and phrasing has always been above par in the ‘pop’ world. i suppose that comes with being a poet. hehe, he’s a poet. that sounds so funny. he’s really settled into what he can do. he’s only thirty-one. that’s quite a feat. a lot of people can’t be taught that kind of control, let alone grasp it naturally. gee whitney, do you really need to be singing (pun unintended) his praises anymore? we all know he’s perfectly perfect in every way. it would be really bad if he somehow read this one day. it’s not entirely impossible.

it still blows my mind. it seriously feels like some wonderful dream that happened. of course there’s little secrets that i keep which make the night even more special, but i’ll never tell. (more…)

i know you’ve been pretty good to me this year, getting me into the incubus after party and all, but i’d really appreciate it if you could see your way into making that not happen. it’s not overly important, but it would make up for losing my job. it also would help me know that i don’t suck and verify my assumptions of other suckage. it would just seem rather unfair considering my talent, background and knowledge compared to what’s being offered. if you can’t make it completely inaccessible, at least put up a few challenging roadblocks that will eventually lead to failure.

thanks!

- whitney

p.s. if i decide to take the same road again later in life, can you make things go better? i’ll try this time, scout’s honour.

same deal as the first one. (more…)

i was ‘let go’ from yuk yuk’s for bullshit reasons, but there’s not much i can do about that. i realized that i’d been having so many dreams about jeff and his parents etc. because my boss’ boss (the who fired me) reminded me so much of his mom. there was like this fake niceness and awkwardness and i always felt on edge around her, like she was just waiting for me to trip up and anything i did wasn’t good enough. anyway, enough about that. (jeff’s mom wasn’t nearly as bad as my boss, but i guess it was just her mannerisms mixed with the ‘i’m doing everything wrong’ feeling that made me see it)

before i got fired, i bought one last semi-expensive purchase: a usb vocal microphone. is this a lead-in to a new path that i’ve chosen? not as such, no. at least not yet. i still need to pay off my current school debt and decide if i can really attempt school again. i just don’t think me and academia get along. i much prefer learning through life. granted, i don’t learn from school mistakes (i.e. not doing work) but that’s all part of the academia thing.

i’m really tempted to go to australia with one of those working plans and just stay there for six months or a year. see what happens and then maybe head to europe. when alex is done her schooling, we’ll head to l.a. and see if we can make it there. hopefully, i’ll have stayed connected/improved my connection with the incubus boys (insert ridiculously crazy giggle here) and that could possibly lead to something. you never know in this crazy thing called life.

back to the mic. i really just wanted it so i could work on my music more diligently.  i’ve heard recordings from webcam mics or regular non-music mics and the quality is brutal. i haven’t even tried mine out yet, but for my current purposes, it should be beyond adequate.

wednesday was a splendid evening and yet again, i had many a drink bought for me. i called a certain someone and it worked out great. i hope he calls me, but i’ll call him if it doesn’t happen soon. if it wasn’t for school, things would almost be going swimmingly.

it is now 6:30am and i’m still awake. i’m really tired, but i’ve been keeping myself awake for some unknown reason. it probably has to do with sadness and missing people. ew. i don’t want to, i just can’t help it. i almost feel like i’ve come full circle and i’m right back where i started before anything happened.

sleep or all-nighter? i’m going to choose sleep because 1. i hope to have dreams that will help me cope and 2. i have to work tonight.

at least i had fun going out drinking my free bacardi 151. nothing quite like having your bill being paid for you. good times.

i don’t want to go to school unless i’m singing at it!