obliviously obvious

i think i’ll use writing posts for this site as procrastination for real work.

on the whole, school is going well. but it always goes well in the beginning. the only thing i could see getting in my way is if i failed my political economics class. that would probably lead to a downward spiral of bad. however, at this moment, i’m not in danger of failing, i’m simply not doing well.

other than school, my life is pretty alright. cable tv in my room is a blessing and a curse. i don’t have a large freezer so i end up throwing out a lot of food, but it’s mostly vegetables so they go in the compost and not the dump.

back to the subject of school, i’m actually doing surprisingly well. in my core journalism classes i consistently get almost or the highest marks. i feel like it’s a natural talent since i know that if i put my all into it (which just isn’t going to happen in first year otherwise i’ll burn myself out) i could do amazing things. it all comes down to whether the juice is worth the squeeze. and since my professor never hands out perfects and has only given out 9 90s in his teaching career, i’d be better off putting my efforts into getting blood from a stone.

i still try hard, i just don’t think i’ve hit my stride yet. the basics are too basic. it’s my fundamental flaw of wanting to be good at stuff right away because i usually am. oh well.

i suppose i should be writing more, considering i’ll be going to college in september for journalism. yay! go me! i’ll try to write every day, but i know it’s not going to happen. also, i have a very good feeling that most of it will be incubus related as they just released a new album. yay! go incubus! i plan on going for another meet and greet at the end of august. it’s been four years since i last saw them live; shame on me. i was really poor when they came in 2009 though and i don’t know if i can go back to being just a regular concert goer now that i’ve been so luckily spoiled.

hopefully this is the beginning of the next portion of my life. the part where i discover what i really want from life and what i need to contribute. although right now it just feels like i need to sing (the vocals on this album are intense and awesome).

i’ll be back tomorrow?

obliviously obvious

my old url that i lost and can’t control anymore. it is le frustrating because there are people i don’t know who read my blog and liked it and now they think i got rid of everything. argh.

i’m on my way. i finally, finally have a happy and realistic picture of my future. to tell the truth, my fantasy life (the ‘corporate’ one, if you will) is actually turning into my real life. at least, i’m taking the steps to get there. hopefully i’ll be on my way in a year or two. who knows what will happen five years from now. my plan might turn upside down and i’ll be living my other fantasy life. either way, things are looking awfully good right now. well, except for the money, but that can always be remedied by this thing called a ‘job’? weird concept, i know, but apparently it works.

life is pretty damn good for myself and the people that i love. it’s a shame that we all have to be far apart, but we’ve managed to keep things going so far and i know it’ll be a breeze maintaining what we already have. i’m looking forward to things only getting better from now on.

do i dare say everything’s falling into place? i know that by being this outwardly happy, something bad will happen to make up for it. or maybe not. i hope things are great for everyone else. drop me a line.

i’m going to have to go cold turkey again. there really isn’t any other way. this time, it’s for real. in my head, i’m still running from it. i’m running from a lot of things right now; i shouldn’t be, but it never stops me.

i’m scared and anxious. it’s based on my lack of a foreseeable future. also, the fact that everyone else is already well on their way to the ‘future’. basically, the same old crap. it’s just a lot closer to home. actually, it’s moving very far from home. even now, i don’t want to think about it. there really isn’t anything bad happening, but it’s still not the same. it still sucks.

i’m happy, but i’m sad. i don’t want this to change things, but i can’t help feeling scared that it will. i’m not worrisome so much as i know there’ll be a terrible hole in my life. ugh.