obliviously obvious

i miss us. i don’t know what i’m going to do after the fourth. i’ll have nothing to base my life around. i guess there’ll be memories, but they’re fleeting. i need substance; a new obsession? ugh, how sad. again, the questions come pouring in.

i still haven’t even begun to try to think about writing. i’m terrible. with me every thing’s either terrible or awesome. ow, mi estómago. i should eat something. i didn’t even realize how long ago i’d heard of plain white t’s. i think they made up a word in harvey birdman. too bad, i liked it. my leg hurts.

okay, enough randomness. time to eat? . . .

i can feel it edging in. it’s like having the word on the tip of my tongue. it’s slowly coming around again. i’m beginning to get my light back.

god, i need to write. i’m not going to get any better by being stagnant. but again, it’s those damn transitions. i want to be good now. none of this toiling and growing from experience crap. aren’t artists supposed to enjoy the journey? i guess not. maybe only in hindsight. i appreciate the aspect of looking back and realizing that previous works were crap, but why must it take so long to get to that point? if i could go back in time, i would, in a heartbeat. i don’t regret the things i’ve done, but i’d change a lot of things.

in happier news (i had a hard time remembering how to spell news for a second there. i think my brain is fried) incubus tickets go on sale tomorrow. i’m so glad this is only the first leg. i’m also glad that it’s small venues. this gives me my chance. i think i might test the orange tube top rumour. why the hell not? hmm, i don’t have an orange tube top. i’ll have to get one. i’m going to be outside that venue all day on sunday, just waiting. it will be eerie and possibly scary, but if i’m there long enough, they’ll have to talk to me. it’s what they do. that’s what they’re like. okay, i’m typing too many of my thoughts. time to stop.

i love finding new artists. it’s refreshing.

i should be writing at a time like this, but i’m dry. i had a dream about a week ago that had three awesome songs in it. i had it all arranged and all the vocals sorted. even the guitar was worked out. it was pretty awesome. of course i forgot it when i woke up. i hate that so much. maybe it wasn’t actually good, i just perceived it as good. i guess i’ll never know.